The Life of Will, Scene 1. Action.

It's time for an update. Yay! Do I get my cameo now?! Not yet, wait a bit. 'Kaaay.

How many people say that to themselves in a grumble, wishing that they didn't feel the personal duty to post something on a site? Maybe we're all just lazy. Or maybe, in my case, I wish I felt more eloquent than I do tonight.

I'll spare you all the Life Career stuff, since it really won't be interesting until I actually get a job lead or unless I have some Will-shattering revelation. Either sound like fun.

My friend Arnold invited me to a 'carnivale' this weekend that some friends of his have invited him to. It's something that a 'Society for Creative Anachronism' does. It seems like another version of Rennaissance Faire, from what I've gathered. Unfortunately, Jeromie will be too busy to go, but I'm looking forward to it, nonetheless. It's going to be a masked ball kind of event, and I have chosen to make my own mask after having an idea for one while talking to Arnold. It's going to be a wide circlet thing with a sheet of fabric falling over my face and some design above it. I hope. Should all go well, there will likely be links to pictures here soon after the event.

The DCF film festival feels like is rushing towards me. I've been telling myself not to spread this around lest I get people's hopes up, but I'm going to try and enter an animated short. I've had an idea for a story building for some time now, but everytime I imagine it, it's either an anime or a manga. It's not ready to tell yet, but I have enough ideas to make a trailer. I just hope I have the talent and the confidence to see this through to the end. I would be so proud of myself.

I warned you about my lack of eloquence before. Just remember that before I start. Right now, I feel so much more than I think. It's a common thread in my life. I act on intuition most times, not reason. I'm an emotional guy, and it seems like a lot of those emotions are negative. As I finished writing that previous paragraph, I looked at myself, and I saw a small, terrified man. He's scared of not doing anything, of having nothing of worth to claim, of being ignored, and of letting grand ideas fade away. He's scared of being like the little black cocker that lays on his bed: alive, but with no fire, no soul. Should I have none of my projects or dreams, what would there be? What would I be? This all sounds so sickeningly existential, but I can't get it out of my head. My head knows Christ is all. It knows that I needn't worry about the things of this life. But my heart is consumed with anxiety and fear about what I do every day. Maybe that's what gives me my artistic edge, tiny as it may be.

...so, now is it time for my cameo?
Sure. These people need cheering up somehow.
Aw, crap. Did you give them the meaning of life speech again? What do I have to work with now?
....sorry.

Progress in the works

Time for a much-needed update. I liken writing about my life to scraping the Jiffy tub for that last bit of peanut butter. That being said, I hope you had a big dinner. :)

I started the day in a desperate battle. Late last night, someone broke into my room. He wasn't armed, but he wasn't expecting a fight, either. We wrestled for a long time, and our short, quiet grunts were the only sounds betraying the solitary battle. We were both becoming tired, but he was the first to try and flee the way he came in. I refused to let him go so easily, and I spent the last bits of my strength trying to hold him down. In the end, everything ended as it had begun so long ago in the middle of the night, and sleep, once again, got away.

Aww, Will, you had us thinking that something exciting was happening in your life. I hope I actually did, voice in my head, but things aren't quite so disappointing if you look at things the right way. Take my writing for example. You mean lack thereof? Hush, now. I'm talking.

The company that is helping me with my career path, Life Careers, first wants to get to know me. To accomplish this, they first had me write out my 15 proudest accomplishments (along with dream job stuff, too). In coming up with them, I was reminded of 3rd grade. It was then that I can first clearly remember writing short stories for the sheer pleasure of it. It was also then that I began my grammar-school-long hobby of drawing out ideas for wondrous inventions. Marvels of kiddy science, really. At any rate, spending my idle moments ordering words around became an on-and-off hobby during my younger years. Upon arriving at Clemson, though, it stopped. I have often wondered at this, especially considering how much writing had become a part of my personal identity. After a bit of soul-searching, this is my preliminary prognosis: I am afraid.

It might sound strange to be afraid of your own ideas, but I think that over the years a deep fear of failure and disappointment has grown within me. It touches every part of my life now. I think it also masquerades as the fatigue I feel with life at times, when my only response is a bitter pride in an old soul who's really too young to know the difference.

I said this was only the prognosis, though. A treatment of courage and godliness falls to me for administration. Beset on all sides by mediocrity and voices that would have me stay safe and comfortable, I will now be put to the test. My heart is under seige. Adventure is upon me, friends. It always has been. Cheer for me as battle comes, weep for me when I must strike myself down, and smile for me as I spill my life for Truth and Beauty. The Victory, for us all, is already won, and all we know now is only the beginning.

Nicely said.
Thanks.
...can I come back next rant?
Keep on sucking up and we'll see.

Measures approaching drastic

This past week, I signed up with a career development company to help me find a job. I guess that's the best way to describe them. I can't say I know any other companies with their particular mission. They're like a head hunter or temp agency in that they want to get you a job. But what makes them different is their focus on you as a person. They are dedicated to learning about your desires, finding your skills, developing a way to market you, and teaching you how to best sell yourself. They also claim to contact what they call decision makers: the people in any given company that have the direct need for a new employer but don't want to go through their own HR department. I met with their vice president twice and learned all there seems to know about them before he gave me a contract and a price.

So I signed up. For $3600.

Fortunately, I have more than enough to cover it stashed away in stocks, but it was still several minutes of hard thinking before I put ink to paper. One comfort is the fact that most other employment agencies get their payment from charging around 25% of your first paycheck, which could be twice what I paid depending on what kind of salary you get. Plus, he had some encouraging examples. Overall, I think I made a good call, but it's still a costly leap of faith. Oh, well. It's just money, anyway.

In other news, I have a friend who might be going into the Peace Corps! It's weird to think of being on the other side of the line. At least I'll be better equipped to sympathize with his situation should he decide to go thanks to my own experience in Senegal.

Ever feel like you lack showmanship in your life? Yeah...

Review -- Teen Titans, "Birthmark"

For everyone who knows me, you must have seen it coming. Considering my infatuation with Teen Titans, was there any doubt I would use my shiny new blog to talk about them? Well, there might have been hope among some of you. I'm going to spare you the synopsis of the episode and move straight to my feelings about it, highlighting certain parts of the show where need be. I've read comments on forums about this ep, and they make me think. Just keep in mind that I'm a very forgiving critic. On to the show!

So far, season 4 is off to a brilliant start. Spoof-tacular hilarity in "Episode 257-494," all the Titans dressed as Robin in "The Quest," and now, "Birthmark," where the light starts to fade. This, the third episode shown so far in season 4, kicks off the main story arc centering around Raven. It also has the return of Slade. After seeing the preview for this episode, I knew what was going on. Slade, who had been killed in a pit of lava by Terra in season 2, had been resurrected into the service of Trigon. The show only hinted at it, but all the pieces fit. Controling hellfire is a pretty big hint, anyway.

Now that Slade is badder than ever, Ron Perlman has kicked it up a notch, too. Before, Slade was calculating, cool, and rutless. Now, he's twisted, and wonderfully creepy. I daresay his lines had a certain joy. When he described Raven's helplessness, I could feel him smiling behind that mask. That was part of why this episode was so heavy. Evil was having the time of its life.

We also discover, much to Raven's own surpise, that she can stop time for a whole city. Seeing as how this came out of nowhere, I have the suspicion that this newfound well of power will play a crucial role in her salvation. And yes, she will be saved, somehow. Considering that she's probably the most popular Titan, I don't see how they could greenlight a fifth season without Raven on the team. At least, that's what I dearly hope.

I wasn't sure what the writers were going to do in this episode regarding the other Titans, so it surprised me to find that they had elected Robin as the only friend at Raven's side after time had stopped. I'm sure many a RobRae 'shipper wore out their VCRs rewinding this episode, especially when Raven runs back to save Robin, crying out his name in worry. Putting all that aside, I think having Robin was a good call. After all, they have a lot in common. Both are serious people, both are secretive, and both have bird names. More importantly, as the only one among the Titans who tries to understand Raven, I think this makes him the closest she has to a confidante. And as her leader, the closest she has to a parent. Besides, I'm a BBRae 'shipper (though RobRae could work, if not for Starfire).

This episode was another landmark in that we see a church. Raven and Robin hide in it, but as Raven looks up at the stained glass, guilt floods her and she tells Robin about her birth. The image of a holy place bringing a kind of confession from Raven was not lost on me. My only qualm is that she doesn't explain as much as I had hoped. Considering that there will be four more story episodes, though, I can live with it.

This episode was by far the darkest I've seen Teen Titans get. Not Spawn dark, of course. It is a kids' show. But watching as Slade puts his head back in its place (replete with the sounds of snapping vertebrae) after a brutal attack by Robin tells you that this time, things are different. This time, we're not going to beat up the little kiddies. We're sicking a demon on a very unfortunate girl's soul.

The episode hardly ended on a hopeful note, either. Although the Titans tried to lighten the mood with a birthday party for Raven, she knew things were only beginning. Even more troubling was Slade's report to his master (we assume Trigon) that Raven "knows what she must do." I found it hard not to smile during this episode, but I felt guilty at the same time considering what was happening. This is going to be a wicked season, and I mean that in both ways.

10/10

Highlights:
-In the intro fight with Dr. Light- Raven: "If you're going to steal something, do it where we can't see you from our living room." (zoom to Titans Tower behind them)
-In the intro fight with Dr. Light- Raven: (facing Dr. Light as in Nevermore "Remember me?" Dr. Light: (to other Titans) "I'd like to go to jail now."
-Having a Beast-Boy pinata at Raven's surprise birthday party.
-Robin talking about the bond he has with Raven because of what happened in "Haunted."
-Slade calling Robin's threat precious.
-Cyborg swinging an enormous steel column at Slade only to have Slade stand still and still melt it in half with hellfire.
-After above attack: Cyborg: "Whoa." Slade: "Whoa? That's it? No clever comment? I was looking forward to that."
-Slade 'fixing himself' after Robin's attack.
-Raven slamming two buildings together to stop Slade.
-Raven's uniform ripping down to little more than a bikini and her hair growing long. (Did I mention I'm a Raven fan?) In the show's defense, it did give Raven the feel of someone being prepared for sacrifice.

Twilight Ho!

So it begins.

Hello, my soon to be loyal readers. Whether by chance, choice, or pity, you have ventured into my blog. In all honesty, I'm not sure how this is gonna go. Most of my thoughts and feelings I tend to keep to myself. If this is not a place to vent, then what is it? Well, that is the adventure I hope you will join me in. I don't want this blog to be just about me, although you can fully expect to find me in an intellectual crusade now and again, assailing some random notion with words both sharp and broad. But this place, this haven, I have claimed so that things worth reading might be forged from rough thought. From course ideas shall flow eloquence. From the hulk of raw passion, beauty.

And in this goal I ask your help. I am only one mind. This place may be bound by Twilight, but it heeds no rigid form. Suggestions will be welcome. After all, I write in order to be read.

My stage is now open to the world. Let it speak.