Learning curve
This isn't where I had originally planned to end this "chapter," either. After reading it, though, I like this. It works. Oh, and I know you guys are busy and probably don't like commenting, so should I stop asking for commentaries like I did last time? I'm thinkin' yeah, but I like feedback. I'm a comment whore, I admit it.
Now, let's see if our Princess is doomed (yeah, right)....
____________________________________________________________
The Princess felt something touch her feet and looked down to see shimmering tendrils of light growing up from the ground beneath her and wrapping themselves around her legs. She tried to escape, but was not permitted the slightest movement by the magical web. The sounds of bells and fire and wind could be heard and were steadily growing louder. The Princess closed her eyes, not wanting to watch the beautiful dance of curses as it now swallowed her waist.
The Sorceress rushed to the aid of the Princess. Her years of training and royal service had taught her how to keep a cool head at all times, but she was inwardly very grateful that the Princess was not screaming once more. She examined the mystic filaments closely with her arts, but every time she caught the pattern of one hex or curse, another twisted around it and broke her concentration. It was a tangled torrent of foul magic that she knew she couldn’t stop in time. The noises were still getting louder. Fighting back a growing sense of panic, the Sorceress searched frantically through her knowledge for some way out.
“The Forever Dye!” the Sorceress exclaimed, with hope growing in heart as she reasoned aloud, “I might not be able to stop the trap, but perhaps I could fool it! If I take some of the Princess’ hair in my hand, I could channel the magic through my body and trick it into releasing itself somewhere else!”
The Princess was breathing quickly and sweating hard and the magic wrapped around her chest and approached her neck. The Sorceress grabbed a handful of blue hair with a confident grip. The sounds of bells clanged in challenge.
“Don’t worry, Princess. I have an idea. Just wait for a few more moments,” the Sorceress said. The Princess didn’t respond as the enchanted mist began to creep up her neck. The invisible fire roared with hunger.
“Just a little bit more. It has to touch my hand around the hair,” the Sorceress thought to herself. Her body was encased in an army of wards and spells. The bodiless wind howled in anger.
The magic trap stretched past the neck of the Princess and touched her cheek, which finally made the Princess cry out. It reached out towards her hair. The noises were deafening. The Sorceress tightened her grip. Then, it touched the cyan locks. And disappeared.
The Sorceress blinked in surprise. The web of pulsing enchantments fell from around the Princess and vanished. The two of them stood silent for a few bewildered moments, until the Princess broke out into joyous laughter and grabbed the Sorceress while she danced in a circle. The Sorceress found it hard not to join in, but when the relief had faded, she was still left curious.
“It didn’t touch me at all, yet it vanished. What is happening here?” she wondered, with her chin in her hand.
“Oh, who knows and who cares? I’m safe!” the Princess retorted. Her face became more serious, “This time, though, we are going to make sure everything is safe before I touch another… well… anything!”
“Yes. Right. Give me a moment,” the Sorceress agreed, tucking the mystery into the back of her mind for the moment. She closed her eyes and with a few gestures and a thought produced her own streams of light for probing the remaining magic waiting in the tower.
The Princess, still elated about her near-miss, had decided to flop on the grass in a manner very unlike a princess while she waited for the Sorceress to finish. She looked at the magic tendrils flowing from the Sorceress’ hands and turned away with a shudder. She was unconsciously busying herself with fixing her hair when the Sorceress released her glowing threads and turned to her.
“All of the protective spells are gone. Only serving and attending magic remains,” the Sorceress reported.
“Wonderful! Now we can finally get on with this inspection,” the Princess said as she rose and brushed herself off. She walked slowly towards the door and touched the handle cautiously before gritting her teeth and grabbing it for a third time.
“I hate magic,” she said as she finally opened the door.
The Sorceress smiled behind her, “It would seem the feeling is mutual.”
_______________________________________________________
^_^
Twilight out.
Now, let's see if our Princess is doomed (yeah, right)....
____________________________________________________________
The Princess felt something touch her feet and looked down to see shimmering tendrils of light growing up from the ground beneath her and wrapping themselves around her legs. She tried to escape, but was not permitted the slightest movement by the magical web. The sounds of bells and fire and wind could be heard and were steadily growing louder. The Princess closed her eyes, not wanting to watch the beautiful dance of curses as it now swallowed her waist.
The Sorceress rushed to the aid of the Princess. Her years of training and royal service had taught her how to keep a cool head at all times, but she was inwardly very grateful that the Princess was not screaming once more. She examined the mystic filaments closely with her arts, but every time she caught the pattern of one hex or curse, another twisted around it and broke her concentration. It was a tangled torrent of foul magic that she knew she couldn’t stop in time. The noises were still getting louder. Fighting back a growing sense of panic, the Sorceress searched frantically through her knowledge for some way out.
“The Forever Dye!” the Sorceress exclaimed, with hope growing in heart as she reasoned aloud, “I might not be able to stop the trap, but perhaps I could fool it! If I take some of the Princess’ hair in my hand, I could channel the magic through my body and trick it into releasing itself somewhere else!”
The Princess was breathing quickly and sweating hard and the magic wrapped around her chest and approached her neck. The Sorceress grabbed a handful of blue hair with a confident grip. The sounds of bells clanged in challenge.
“Don’t worry, Princess. I have an idea. Just wait for a few more moments,” the Sorceress said. The Princess didn’t respond as the enchanted mist began to creep up her neck. The invisible fire roared with hunger.
“Just a little bit more. It has to touch my hand around the hair,” the Sorceress thought to herself. Her body was encased in an army of wards and spells. The bodiless wind howled in anger.
The magic trap stretched past the neck of the Princess and touched her cheek, which finally made the Princess cry out. It reached out towards her hair. The noises were deafening. The Sorceress tightened her grip. Then, it touched the cyan locks. And disappeared.
The Sorceress blinked in surprise. The web of pulsing enchantments fell from around the Princess and vanished. The two of them stood silent for a few bewildered moments, until the Princess broke out into joyous laughter and grabbed the Sorceress while she danced in a circle. The Sorceress found it hard not to join in, but when the relief had faded, she was still left curious.
“It didn’t touch me at all, yet it vanished. What is happening here?” she wondered, with her chin in her hand.
“Oh, who knows and who cares? I’m safe!” the Princess retorted. Her face became more serious, “This time, though, we are going to make sure everything is safe before I touch another… well… anything!”
“Yes. Right. Give me a moment,” the Sorceress agreed, tucking the mystery into the back of her mind for the moment. She closed her eyes and with a few gestures and a thought produced her own streams of light for probing the remaining magic waiting in the tower.
The Princess, still elated about her near-miss, had decided to flop on the grass in a manner very unlike a princess while she waited for the Sorceress to finish. She looked at the magic tendrils flowing from the Sorceress’ hands and turned away with a shudder. She was unconsciously busying herself with fixing her hair when the Sorceress released her glowing threads and turned to her.
“All of the protective spells are gone. Only serving and attending magic remains,” the Sorceress reported.
“Wonderful! Now we can finally get on with this inspection,” the Princess said as she rose and brushed herself off. She walked slowly towards the door and touched the handle cautiously before gritting her teeth and grabbing it for a third time.
“I hate magic,” she said as she finally opened the door.
The Sorceress smiled behind her, “It would seem the feeling is mutual.”
_______________________________________________________
^_^
Twilight out.
posted by Aisyrn | 2:05 AM
3 Comments:
Don't worry, it hates you too
Well, that should be fairly obvious.
Will! Where were you? You would have loved Deliria this past weekend. You must come when he returns! (July, Augustish)
As for the story, this section feels more fluid. Perhaps it's because you have proceeded past the "suspension of disbelief" bit. By now in the story you and your readers are okay with the magic bit. I think maybe the last one felt a little forced in places because you hand't just said "this is how it works, and there doesn't need to be an explanation" in your own mind yet.
Or I'm just crazy. Either way BIG SMILES!!!!
Loving it.
Even though that was the line I originally heard in my head, I felt unsure as I wrote it. I thought you might call me out on it, Arnold, and now that you have, I think I'll change it.
To the word processor!
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